I am not a slave to my desires — do you hear me? I can say no to my cravings, but I learned it the hard way.
We had a couple of nightmarish evenings when I was so tired and sulky I couldn’t decide what to eat yet I would petulantly reject all the suggestions Graham makes. Then the hapless husband would finally give up and leave me to stew in my own petty juices. It does not end pretty although he always eventually makes sure I get to eat something.
Monday looked like it was gonna be another of those nights. I had wanted chicken rice — easy enough right? — but no, there was not a chicken rice stall open in Kovan. The only one we chanced upon had only char siew left. I frowned and waved Graham off to order his food and sat very very still as I debated with myself.
“This is ridiculous! Why shouldn’t I get to eat chicken rice. It is Singapore, there should be chicken rice everywhere. If he wants to, he can surely get it, even if it’s not in Kovan.”
“Is this the way I want to spend my night with Graham? Is this the kind of wife I want to be greeted by when I come home after a long day at work? Urgh, no, but I really want to eat chicken rice! What if char siew rice leaves me unsatisfied?”
“Let’s just say I eat char siew rice. Let’s just say I choose a better attitude by not insisting on my own way (1 Cor 13.4-7). Let’s just say I go to bed still craving chicken rice. Is it really that bad? Does it serve my husband? Will it be more pleasing to God?”
When Graham came back (after a very long time), I was so glad that the Holy Spirit has changed my heart and I was ready to ask for char siew rice. Alas it was his turn to be sulky because he was in the wrong queue and didn’t get his food — but that’s another story!
So I conclude it’s not helpful when we say that husbands should always fetch their pregnant wives whatever they crave for — his job is to make me holy, not happy (Eph 5.25-27)! If all he does is to satisfy all my unreasonable demands all the time, he’s only reinforcing my selfish ways. Of course husbands must also search their hearts to see if they are turning a deaf ear to their wives’ requests, for their own convenience.
I learned that I cannot believe every common saying we hear, but I have to think carefully about what the Lord says!