It’s official now. After weeks of joking that I will stick closely to him, I am really going to start work at Graham’s office.We have signed me up for three exams (for compliance reasons) — it doesn’t get more real than that, does it?
It’s a half-day job and that’s great! After all I haven’t had a paid 8-5 job since I started studying two years ago, and my last full-time work experience was horrible (the kind that I would often cry on Sunday just thinking about Monday).
I still have time to meet and disciple other girls, do the housework before Graham gets home, and just plain chill out. Two years of self-study is pretty intense and gruelling. I’m really looking forward to my break from studying and see what else God wants me to do.
It’s fantastic I get to understand my husband’s work and its challenges, so that I know how best to support him — and it’s four more hours to speak encouragingly? There would also be opportunities to know the Burmese girls better and meet other non-Christians. Self-study is isolating in a way since I don’t go to a school or an office every day.
With all these hopes, I still really have no idea how it would be like. I sometimes think, “What if I suck at my job? What if I totally fail to do anyone any good at work? And how would that affect Graham’s relationship with his colleagues?”
But I have to admit, even the fears are exciting — it means there is a chance to do the good works God has prepared for me (Ephesians 2:10), it means there is a chance to honour and glorify him in a different context than the one I’m in now (1 Corinthians 10:31), it means there is a chance to build relationships and share the gospel with people.
So I’m going to trust God and go with my fears which is the best kind of courage (some would say the only kind).