Unless you hang out a lot with us at home, you are not likely to know this. I forget my husband is not a child anymore.
“Please don’t drop any crumbs on the floor.” “Please lock the door when you come in.” “Please don’t slam the fridge door.” “Please dry your feet after showering.” “Please turn down the fan.”
The do’s and don’ts I spell out will put off the toughest disciplinarian, but the biggest frustration for my husband is to be controlled by my rules in the house we share over some of the things that he’s been doing (or not) for 25 years of his life!
Besides the obvious restriction (we all know what’s it like to ditch a habit), I suspect the frustration’s also because I’m not showing him much respect by reminding him of his boundaries all the time.
My motives are equally mixed. On one hand, these are fairly normal things you do to keep a house running; on the other hand, I nag because I’m just unwilling to do more work than what I think is fair.
In other words, my attitude is something like: I’ve done enough work around here. Now stay out of trouble and don’t create more work for me. (Optional grunt for emphasis)
Hardly the stuff of love and sacrifice!
My loving husband will gladly do all those things that I ask him; and when he doesn’t, it’s only because he’s human and he forgets. He is not intentionally adding to my chores.
However when I’m scolding, I’m only focusing on the outward behavior (which takes time to change) and not looking at his heart (which is willing to change). What a complete lack of grace — no wonder he’s discouraged to try to do those things which helps me!
I’m still learning to curb my tongue and give grace to my husband.