“Submission means to voice my opinion vigorously, and then to submit wholeheartedly”. What an epiphany!
Some time ago, I questioned my perception that headship is about seeing the big picture. Forcing Graham to conform to my mental ideal when it’s unnatural for him and then rejecting his decisions did not seem a lot like submission to me!
Graham and I have diametrically opposite ways of gathering information from the world around us. He’s an ISTJ while I’m an INTJ. That just means he uses his five senses to discover details in the present reality, while I intuitively consider the big picture and future possibilities.
Of course part of me always secretly feel that INTJs are born leaders (ha ha!). We are big-picture thinkers who are not confined by present limits and we are super imaginative! But how then could I submit?
That’s why the principle my friend taught me is such an elegant one. To voice my opinion vigorously means I’m no door mat; instead I am to use all my God-given strengths to help my husband make good decisions for the family.
Yet if he decides differently in the end, I must submit wholeheartedly by trusting that he’s considered my opinion. Most importantly, I need to trust that God works all things out for our good.
All that’s left is to apply the principle rigorously and regularly!