are house-husbands acceptable?

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Are house-husbands acceptable when the wife is career-minded and the husband doesn’t mind anyway? In some cases, the guy can even outdo his wife at domestic affairs!

Though this cannot be further from the truth in my case (haha sorry sweets! you are so good at other things though), I’ve been thinking about it. If only so that I know how to speak the truth when the issue comes up again in conversations.

Titus 2.3-5 has this to say:

“Older women… are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

According to sound doctrine (v1), one of our primary responsibility as women is to care for the home. It’s nothing to do with culturally-bound male chauvinist oppression of women; rather it’s the role God has designed for women. It’s also proper gospel living because we are told that when we make our home our priority, we beautify the word of God and protect it from scorn.

This command doesn’t prohibit women from working outside. But it means the home, and not her job, should be her preoccupation. Her best attention, time, and energy must be reserved for her husband and children.

I haven’t really met a career-minded woman who is able to do that (it’s quite a feat, really!), though there may very well be a few. But until I understand the real-life situations that people are in, I’m hesitant to rule out the possibility of house-husbands.

Probably ‘career woman’ needs to be better defined — does it just mean an employed woman with a full-time job? Does being a successful woman in the corporate world necessarily mean neglecting family? And what if the husband happens to be in a season of life where he can afford more time to take care of the home?

But one thing is for sure. If we are eager and willing to conform to the word of God, then there’s no better time than when we are single to learn how to work at home and prepare ourselves to be godly wives and mothers.

I leave you with this quote from a series of messages I’m following:

“…much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else’s and not your own. We must not be overcome by the surrogacy of this age, which offers even a substitute womb for those so encumbered by lofty pursuits that they cannot accept God-given roles and assignments.” — Dorothy Patterson, quoted in Carolyn Mahaney’s To Teach What is Good

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One response »

  1. You said that, It’s nothing to do with culturally-bound male chauvinist oppression of women; rather it’s the role God has designed for women. That word ‘role’ sure does get alot of play. So, God has designed women to be domestic servants? That must be wonderful news for men! There is nothing in the genetics of men that can keep him from cleaning a toilet or mopping a floor. After all if you are going to ‘serve’ your wife and be that ‘sacrificial leader’, where do they usually need the most help? Marriage is a partnership between two equals. But, what has happened is the ‘two have become one, AND HE’S THE ONE.” Now, I don’t have an axe to grind as I have been a stay-at-home mom all my married life, but not everyone has had the opportunity, privledge, etc. to be able to to do that. I think it wise to not put all women in a box and confine them to motherhood and domestic service and call it God’s Universal plan for all women. Some women get married but cannot have children, in some hierarchalist beliefs they teach that she could not even be saved!!! We don’t make strict gender roles for men (since you provide the sperm your job is to be a full time dad with all the responsiblities that go along with that)…even if we did, men would do what they wanted to anyway. Ever since the Fall woman have had a hard time conforming ( and she is always trying, out of a desire for the man) to thier rules, regulations, mandates, traditions, out right biases and prejudices. God tells those that would be first to be last, and those that would lead to serve. In this pecking order (with men on the top and women below) it must great to know that you are not really last after all!!

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