Last night we had a movie date and this morning I had a meltdown. The cause? My deepest desire to be loved and longed for. There was no fight, no quarrel nor conflict; just hurt from feeling that my husband doesn’t long for me the way I hope to be longed for.
I prayed for God’s help not to retaliate in spite but to respond in love. “How do I die to myself in this situation? How can I consider my husband’s feelings? How can I love when I’d rather be numb?”
And as I was concerning myself with the right response to make, God simply called me to come. “Bask in my love,” he said. “Human affections can run low, but I’ve always loved and longed for you from the beginning.”
“How do I know you love me, God?”
In my confusion I was unable to recall a single verse from the Scripture about God’s love. In his mercy, while my brain was incapable of thinking, I flipped open my bible and read this:
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Precious, honoured, I love you — all words that I needed to hear. So great was God’s love for his people Israel, he killed their enemies to save them. Thousands of lives in exchange for Israel’s salvation.
And his most supreme display of love for all of us? When he killed his own Son Jesus Christ to save us. God’s life in exchange for mine.
The only proof of love I ever need is on the cross. I need look no further to know how much God is committed to loving me.